Grant and Lee, in War and Peace

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123068008507043975.html#articleTabs%3Darticle

I came across this article in today's Wall Street Journal - focusing on two of the most influential military and political leaders of the 19th century. For you history enthusiasts, it is an interesting article and I would go to the exhibit in NY tomorrow if I could!

We all have opinions, thoughts, grumblings, admirations or pros/cons about their histories in the Civil War, but to know a little more about them outside of that arena is even more enlightening.

From Grant's misbehaviors at West Point to his compassion for the treatment of Indians and to his love of the bottle....or from Lee's demerit-less career at West Point to his commitment to Chivalry and to his days at Washington College....there is so much more to these leaders.

Of course, they are remembered for agreeing to peace at Appomattox and setting the stage for the end of the Civil War, but this exhibit also focuses on their lives before and after that event.

Hope you enjoy the article, and maybe decide to do some additional reading on the two - it will be time well spent.

"In the South, no man is a man until his father tells him he is."

I came across this quote while I was reading about Burt Reynolds' life experiences in the book, The Games Do Count, by Brian Kilmeade. Burt accredited this quote to Rip Torn, as an explanation as to why Burt's dad could never tell him how proud he was of him - well, at least not until his dad was ninety years old.


In the book, Burt reiterated how he sought his father's approval throughout his entire life - desperately wanting to hear words like, "good game, I am proud of you son." The quote by Rip probably resonates with many men today.


When do you become a man? Of course, many cultures in this world have rituals, tests, ceremonies, etc., to officially announce that a boy has entered manhood. Unfortunately, that process isn't as clear here in the U.S. for many young men. Losing your virginity? nope. Your first drink? Nope. Getting your driver's license? Nope.

Your father telling you that you have become a man, and that he is proud of you? Maybe.


As we all know, there are many young men that do not have a father figure to provide this type of annointing. Personally, I struggled for years yearning for some type of acknowledgement. It seemed no matter what I did or what I accomplished, I was never satisfied - always wanting someone to pat me on the back with admiration or congratulations. I did get some, but it never seemed to sink in and I still carried a chip on my shoulder....feeling I still had more and more to prove to somebody.


During my maturing years, it was really left to my mom and some friends to boost my pride - the absence of a solid father figure reigned in my life. The only one even close to that figure was my grandfather, and he certainly fit the bill similar to Burt's dad - old school, ruff around the edges, not one to throw around praise.


Not until my late 20's did I finally understand what I was looking for, and I realized that I would never get it. Specifically, I just wanted a man in my life to tell me that I was a man, a good man. Well, there was no such person, and there wasn't going to be - at least not a father. After a few tears and some self-talk, I decided the epiphany was a good thing and that I could then move forward with a sense of pride in myself....that I was a good man and that my mom's and friends' words were good enough for me. Heck, even a word now and then from my grandfather carried even more weight than before.


Fortunately, both Burt and I have reconciled these feelings - in different ways of course. For me, I am looking forward to having a son one day that I can talk to about anything and everything....and I will be there as he grows into a man - and I will not hesitate to tell him so.

Senior Day at Bucknell! Buck who? Bucknell!

At the end of November, I traveled to Pennsylvania to watch Bucknell University's final home football game of the season - also known as Senior Day. Sure, most ask why. Well, my cousin is the Offensive Coordinator there - so I went to support him and spend a day or two in snow!

Fortunately, the Friday night before the game I was allowed to eat with the team and also listen to the Seniors give their last speeches. Their comments were full of emotions, laughter, jokes, compliments, good-byes and salutes. Me being a sensitive bloke, it was difficult to hide my own reactions to the young mens' words.

I could not resist grabbing a napkin and writing some memorables notes while intently listening, as one by one they stood to address the team. The team went out the next day and won a thrilling, come-from-behind victory in overtime. I saw first hand what commitment, hard work, fun, and a never-give-up attitude could do for a team!

Here are some of the comments I found to be memorable from the 15 or so Seniors:

* have fun

* play like every play is your last

* have each other's back, have confidence in the guy next to you, believe in yourself, look out for each other

* send Seniors out with a win, build momentum for next year, win #5

* win for you

* Moral character, play with emotion, who we are

* work ethic, no regrets

* football family, practice to win

* Party at 11am (kickoff), gratitude

* Pass the torch - carry on.

* stick it out - one more game to go. 35 playing for 15, Can? or Can't? You choose, but you are right either way.

* take care of each other

* it's worth it - all the practice, playing or not playing - it's worth it

* we all want to compete

* 11 - it takes a team

* part of something bigger than yourself

* get out of it what you put into it

Whether it be work or play, some of these words can be used to lead, manage, inspire, communicate and succeed. Way to go Bucknell, Buck who? BUCKNELL!

What do you think?