Grant and Lee, in War and Peace

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123068008507043975.html#articleTabs%3Darticle

I came across this article in today's Wall Street Journal - focusing on two of the most influential military and political leaders of the 19th century. For you history enthusiasts, it is an interesting article and I would go to the exhibit in NY tomorrow if I could!

We all have opinions, thoughts, grumblings, admirations or pros/cons about their histories in the Civil War, but to know a little more about them outside of that arena is even more enlightening.

From Grant's misbehaviors at West Point to his compassion for the treatment of Indians and to his love of the bottle....or from Lee's demerit-less career at West Point to his commitment to Chivalry and to his days at Washington College....there is so much more to these leaders.

Of course, they are remembered for agreeing to peace at Appomattox and setting the stage for the end of the Civil War, but this exhibit also focuses on their lives before and after that event.

Hope you enjoy the article, and maybe decide to do some additional reading on the two - it will be time well spent.

"In the South, no man is a man until his father tells him he is."

I came across this quote while I was reading about Burt Reynolds' life experiences in the book, The Games Do Count, by Brian Kilmeade. Burt accredited this quote to Rip Torn, as an explanation as to why Burt's dad could never tell him how proud he was of him - well, at least not until his dad was ninety years old.


In the book, Burt reiterated how he sought his father's approval throughout his entire life - desperately wanting to hear words like, "good game, I am proud of you son." The quote by Rip probably resonates with many men today.


When do you become a man? Of course, many cultures in this world have rituals, tests, ceremonies, etc., to officially announce that a boy has entered manhood. Unfortunately, that process isn't as clear here in the U.S. for many young men. Losing your virginity? nope. Your first drink? Nope. Getting your driver's license? Nope.

Your father telling you that you have become a man, and that he is proud of you? Maybe.


As we all know, there are many young men that do not have a father figure to provide this type of annointing. Personally, I struggled for years yearning for some type of acknowledgement. It seemed no matter what I did or what I accomplished, I was never satisfied - always wanting someone to pat me on the back with admiration or congratulations. I did get some, but it never seemed to sink in and I still carried a chip on my shoulder....feeling I still had more and more to prove to somebody.


During my maturing years, it was really left to my mom and some friends to boost my pride - the absence of a solid father figure reigned in my life. The only one even close to that figure was my grandfather, and he certainly fit the bill similar to Burt's dad - old school, ruff around the edges, not one to throw around praise.


Not until my late 20's did I finally understand what I was looking for, and I realized that I would never get it. Specifically, I just wanted a man in my life to tell me that I was a man, a good man. Well, there was no such person, and there wasn't going to be - at least not a father. After a few tears and some self-talk, I decided the epiphany was a good thing and that I could then move forward with a sense of pride in myself....that I was a good man and that my mom's and friends' words were good enough for me. Heck, even a word now and then from my grandfather carried even more weight than before.


Fortunately, both Burt and I have reconciled these feelings - in different ways of course. For me, I am looking forward to having a son one day that I can talk to about anything and everything....and I will be there as he grows into a man - and I will not hesitate to tell him so.

Senior Day at Bucknell! Buck who? Bucknell!

At the end of November, I traveled to Pennsylvania to watch Bucknell University's final home football game of the season - also known as Senior Day. Sure, most ask why. Well, my cousin is the Offensive Coordinator there - so I went to support him and spend a day or two in snow!

Fortunately, the Friday night before the game I was allowed to eat with the team and also listen to the Seniors give their last speeches. Their comments were full of emotions, laughter, jokes, compliments, good-byes and salutes. Me being a sensitive bloke, it was difficult to hide my own reactions to the young mens' words.

I could not resist grabbing a napkin and writing some memorables notes while intently listening, as one by one they stood to address the team. The team went out the next day and won a thrilling, come-from-behind victory in overtime. I saw first hand what commitment, hard work, fun, and a never-give-up attitude could do for a team!

Here are some of the comments I found to be memorable from the 15 or so Seniors:

* have fun

* play like every play is your last

* have each other's back, have confidence in the guy next to you, believe in yourself, look out for each other

* send Seniors out with a win, build momentum for next year, win #5

* win for you

* Moral character, play with emotion, who we are

* work ethic, no regrets

* football family, practice to win

* Party at 11am (kickoff), gratitude

* Pass the torch - carry on.

* stick it out - one more game to go. 35 playing for 15, Can? or Can't? You choose, but you are right either way.

* take care of each other

* it's worth it - all the practice, playing or not playing - it's worth it

* we all want to compete

* 11 - it takes a team

* part of something bigger than yourself

* get out of it what you put into it

Whether it be work or play, some of these words can be used to lead, manage, inspire, communicate and succeed. Way to go Bucknell, Buck who? BUCKNELL!

What do you think?

Veteran's Day - some people amaze me!

I honor this day and hold it sacred because of my Grandfather (marine on Iwo Jima) and other friends and family that served in the military and those that still do.

Today, Audrey and I visited most of the war memorials in town to reflect on our nation's history - unfortunately, it seems not everyone cares about the meaning of today and the respect due to those that have fallen while serving their country. While we were leaving the Korean War memorial, a group of teens ascended upon the structure dedicated to those lost in the battle over the 38th parallel - North/South Korea. One particular piece is shaped like a flattened, elongated "u" and the names of those fallen are inscribed on its surface - titled LIFE.

Apparently, one of the youths thought this surface would be a cool place upon which to ride his skateboad! Immediately after seeing him climb to the top of it, I quick-stepped back to the monument in time to change his course of action - meaning, I scolded him for lack of respect and sternly suggested he and his friends go elsewhere to play. I remember saying something like, "are you kidding me? You're gonna ride your skateboard over the names of people that have lost their lives serving our country? On Veteran's Day? Do you have no respect for anyone? Our history?"

After my emotional response, he quickly apologized for being disrespectful and hurriedly gathered his friends up and headed for their truck, and off they went. Unfortunately, they could be back tomorrow - but under my watch, no one will disrespect the lives of the fallen without hearing from me.

I think many of our youth have no understanding of the many sacrifices prior generations have made - they enjoy many freedoms and luxuries because of those sacrifices. As it stated on the memorial....Duty, Honor, Country.

Thank you to all the vets and their families!

Lou Holtz....

I was watching the college football kick-off show a week or two ago, and I heard a quick quote from Coach Holtz that I just had to share. Of course, this is a great time of year - MLB playoffs coming soon, the NFL season just started and the college football season is finally under way! All of these sports, individuals, businesses and the like can get something out of his quote he shared that day.


"What the mind perceives, the body achieves."


In the end, is it really mind over matter? Can our brains get our bodies to do things through visualization, concentration, will power? Or does the body just refuse to play along?


Simply put for me, I think it comes down to "I can" instead of "I can't"....positive thinking. I talk to many folks that give up before they ever even try! That disappoints me....



Take running for instance. I have to continually tell myself "I can make it a little further, I can push a little further". Training and conditioning will help your body prepare for what you are asking it to do, but it will recognize limits that can only be breached by mind power! Push, Push.

I've watched the science of sports show before that included Navy Seals. The Seals displayed their mental capacity to keep their bodies warm while sitting in freezing water for an enormous amount of time! It was impressive....

Obviously, we all have limits. I know I can not throw a baseball 90 miles an hour - regardless of how much I push myself, or perceive that I can do it. I have tried before - pitched 3 years in an adult baseball league in Tallahassee! I once pitched 1o innings, over 200 pitches....we won! That was beyond what I thought I could do, but I set my mind to it. I threw a lot of curve balls!

All I know is that it doesn't help anyone's case if you start out doing something with a thought of failure or "I can't". Lou believes, as I do, that you can accomplish unbeknownst things if you focus your mind on doing it. Your body will go where you tell it to - it should not be leading the way!

Do you have a story about pushing yourself beyond a previous barrier? What do you think about the quote?

Look forward to your comments.

Talent....

"Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard." Tim Notke

While I was in Memphis recently and having dinner, I glanced at ESPN on the TV and saw this quote during a high school football game. Apparently, one team had this quote stuck to their lockerroom wall for motivation. It caught my attention....so I felt the need to share it with you.

I am sure we can all think of folks that have enviable talent - whether it be at work or play....athletes, leaders, etc. Do all of them work hard?

How about those underdogs we know? Folks with mediocre skill sets....

Well, whichever you may be - we all have the CHOICE when it comes to what we do with what we have!

Hard work? Some very talented people refuse to rest on their god-given talent and continue to push themselves in order to stay at their desired level of performance. One person comes to mind for me because I am about to finish his autobiography - Walter Payton!

To every account in the book, this "kid" was a natural - abilities no kid had in highschool! BUT, they all mentioned the work he put in until his retirement, and he finally shared those commitments in his book too.

His regiment over the years included:

* moving truck loads of dirt from the front yard

* jogging in boots

* running to and from school/practice

* running up the famous hill, over and over

After his retirement, he mentioned his displeasure with athletes that didn't put in the hard work for the sake of the team. 'Til the end of his career, he pushed himself in the offseason in order to be ready for camp - but he grew tired of those folks that would do nothing until camp and made the team suffer because of it! He could have performed better than half the other guys in the NFL without working so hard, but that wasn't Sweetness. He wanted to win so bad, compete on every play....for the TEAM. He would not allow himself to become complacent.

Underdogs? Sure....lots of them. The folks not given the greatest of talents, but they too succeed because of hard work, and determination. Cal Ripken Jr, Derek Jeter, Lance Armstrong....to name a few.

The other side of that?

Being in Tallahassee, I witnessed one of them in the past 4 years or so. No offense to my friends in Volusia County, but Xavier Lee did not WORK HARD! This kid was one of the greatest football players (athletes) ever to come out of the state of Florida.

Fortunately for us FSU fans, he decided to come to Tally for an education and some football. Immediately, he was in play for some playing time but would have to beat out a less-talented individual (drew weatherford) during multiple spring/fall practices in order to earn his starting role. Well, we knew then and even know better now, that he did not put in as much effort as the other QB. He relied too much on his natural talent and it showed on the practice field and also on the playing field when given a chance.

Drew was a student of the game - knew his plays, made reads, watched film, etc. Most know that Xavier didn't do that for football or for school. Eventually, Xavier quite school and college football - now he is in the CFL, on the Calgary practice squad. Wish him the best though - no hard feelings X!

In the end, neither guy brought us a national championship - but the point here is the result of hard work out dueling talent alone.

Be thankful for your god-given talent, regardless of what level you receive. Just remember to not take it for granted! Work hard....we know there is always someone out there better - so you'd better stay on top of your game! Your choice.....

What do you think?

Jimmy V....

Jimmy V....what a moment he was in! Upset victory that will last forever in college basketball history.
Most of us are familiar with his famous speech at the ESPY's from 1993 - while suffering from cancer he repeatedly pushed us not to give up, never give up. Cancer never affected his mind, his heart or his soul. As I watched the ESPYs this year, I thought about some of his other words of inspiration from that speech.

1. Always remember where you came from.
From many walks of life, it all started somewhere. Whether it be rich or poor, easy or hard, nuclear or dysfunctional, loving or lonely, peaceful or violent....we all have a beginning. He insisted on remembering friends, family, neighborhood, etc....from his childhood. Learning values, traditions and other things that helped mold him. We have all experienced the same - but do we hold on to them? Stay grounded....remember where you came from....

2. Know where you are today.
Job, family, friends, responsibilities, volunteering, mentoring, health, children, bills, reading....how are we spending our "today"? Helping only ourselves, or others too? Building for tomorrow? Enjoy the moments we are in each day? Smells? Sounds? Tastes? Sights? Touches? He always said each day you should think, laugh and cry....

3. Know where you want to be tomorrow.
Goals? Aspirations? Plans? Not only keep lists for things to do today, but also next month, next year, etc....short term and long term. Plan for tomorrow, today. Visualize where you want to be, things you want to do....and start working your way there, today.


Admittedly, it is hard to remember the past or prepare for the future when we are so bombarded with day-to-day expectations, worries, accountabilities and responsibilites. Time, it is necessary to make time for these thoughts. Write them down, tell your story, map your direction in life - others may find it interesting one day.

What do think?